I don’t know if it’s because I was sick last week or the fact that my job is bad to the point of where I feel like I am being pushed out the door but I feel really trapped and frustrated.

It is a terrible feeling to know you have to stay in a job you aren’t enjoying because it’s paying the bills and helping you plan for a successful and happy retirement. Regardless of that fact, I’m still not happy.

The worst part is trying to get yourself out of this mind set. I can take positive thinking so far. Of course it’s good to sit in the corner of the room with a few candles burning and meditate on the brilliance of life itself. But then you have to un-cross your legs which just seems to hurt the older you get. It’s not exactly a glamorous look watching a 30 something trying to move stiffened legs while propping herself up on on arm, hair dangling around head and in the eyes.


No, sometimes you just have to admit defeat and accept that you are in a cruddy mood and no amount of positive thinking or special quotes for the day are going to get you out of it.

I know people who seem to be happy all the time, they make me sick what with their happy smiling faces. It’s not human to be so happy, it’s not I tell you!

I won’t dwell on my crappy job, you aren’t interested and neither am I particularly. I want to win the lottery tomorrow night. I might persist with meditation and if I win lotto, I will be able to afford a massage after.

Sometimes you just have to ride your mood out. Eventually things sort themselves out, one way or the other.

Actually, I feel better now. Go figure. I guess writing it down made a difference after all :)

I’m off to go light some candle….


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